clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Make Way For Prince Ali

Sound the horns, alert the kingdom. The Prince has arrived.

David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

That's right, four-star Sagemont High School shooting guard Prince Ali—his real name, mind you—announced today that he has officially committed to UConn for next season.

Two thoughts come to mind...

  1. Another highly touted, four-star recruit for Kevin Ollie to insert into a stacked backcourt. I predict this going well.
  2. Prince Ali... Think about that. Prince. Ali. It really is spectacular.
Before we go any further, here's what the scouting report says about UConn's newest recruit...
  • Athletic wing guard
  • Ability to score on his own with the ball
  • Capable of playing the point well
  • Strong as 10 regular men
  • You're gonna love this guy
  • He's got the monkeys
Just think about it: Former Men's Basketball coach Jim Calhoun leads a parade through campus, covered in blue body paint. The fans align the sidewalks fawning over the team, who are entering Gampel Pavilion—now accordingly renamed The Cave of Wonders—on elephants and camels. Upon entering the stadium there are monkeys in UConn trademarked fez's handing out concessions. At the top of the stands lies the National Championship trophy, guarded by Jonathan, with strict instructions not to touch it. Upon hitting the game winning shot and defeating Jim Boeheim (you may now refer to him as Jafar), Ali grabs one of the cheerleaders off the court, and they fly away on his magic carpet.

You wouldn't pay top dollar to watch that?

I mean honestly, the possibilities really are endless here. Personally, I cannot wait for the Pre-Game show...

Okay, so maybe some of that's unrealistic, but hey, you imagine former Hall of Fame coach Jim Calhoun in blue paint with a pony tail and earring and not laugh. I dare you. Just don't ask for more wishes.