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A short UConn-UNC preview, in haiku

J-Tod eats the ACC for brunch. He saves children for lunch. Yeah, that's nutrition for J-Tod.

J-Tod eats the ACC for brunch. He saves children for lunch. Yeah, that's nutrition for J-Tod.

Since everybody's probably already drinking themselves silly at the Rent (and boy, do I wish I were one of those people), I only have a very brief amount of time to write a UConn-UNC preview. Luckily, I once had a seventh-grade English teacher who made us write poetry (Hey, Ms. K!), so I became a master at the art of Haiku. So make sure you absorb all of the key storylines before the noon kickoff on ESPNU (sorry y'all, no liveblog from me today, but feel free to use this post for any game comments you might have):

Can I has offense?
Frazer still an enigma
Save us, Joe Moorehead

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Mr. Dwayne Difton,
We want you to be a star
Mind starting today?

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Todman is awesome
Dixon's not too bad either
Can Heels stop them? No

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O-line is damn good
They deserve more press clippings
Will face test today

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Does D-line match up?
No more Ohio O-line
Need to pressure Yates

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Lutrus won't play? How?
He's made of Lutrusium
Harder than diamonds

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D-backs had rough game
Too many big passing plays
Frosh will be better

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Bruce Carter hungry
He wants to block many punts
For God's sake, block him.

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Two Heels have swine flu
Got it from [insert school] girls
Heh, I said 'insert'

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Bad history here
Top 25 beats UConn
Often; stupid trends

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Special teams special
In the worst sense of the word
Close your eyes and pray

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E-S-P-N-U
Not carried, shut out again
'Legal' streams for me

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No hate for NC
Can't we all just get along?
We all hate Coach K

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And most importantly...

Will it rain today?
Weird things happen in the rain
Need rain dance at Rent

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I think I could do a dozen or two more.

Anyways, as for a prediction, if you read my interview with The 5th Corner, you'd know that I already went UNC 27, UConn 17.

I can't really backtrack from that, but I will say that I'm a cynical bastard who needs the team to show me something before I believe in them. Maybe I should move to Missouri, I don't know.

Enjoy the game.