Busta Rhymes' "Put your hand where my eyes can see" has probably taken on a new meaning to Lyndon Johnson the past few years.
Aside from Tyler Lorenzen's noodle arm and former OC Rob Ambrose setting the forward pass back about 10 years, special teams play was probably the biggest problem in football team's second-half nosedive.
UConn finished in the bottom third in almost all of the major return categories, and watching Jasper Howard field punts was like watching someone chase after a dollar bill on a string. And then there was the time North Carolina's Bruce Carter decided Desi Cullen just wasn't allowed to punt.
But while most of us were forced to endure a special teams effort that probably elicited several call-ins on that "Tell 'em why you mad" segment on Hot 93.7, special teams coach Lyndon Johnson didn't have to.
It's not that he didn't want to. He just probably couldn't.
From Desmond Connor:
Lyndon Johnson came in with some dark shades on.
Turns out he had a cornea transplant in his left eye last week. He has a disease in his eye where his cornea was deformed and the doctors went as far as they could with contacts and glasses.
"I basically had no vision out of my left eye," Johnson said. "I had about three percent vision. [...] I wouldn't be able to make out your face [sitting close] at all. It got to a point where it was pretty severe. I've had it for about five or six years now but it got to a point where there was nothing they could do."
Yeesh.
The worst part about this mysterious disease is that Johnson probably can't even wear an eye patch since it's in both eyes. Well, he could. But that might be dangerous.
So now he's relegated to being the guy wearing sunglasses indoors in the middle of the afternoon. And that's not a good a good guy to be. No one wants to be that guy.
"So I got a transplant with a fine gentlemen out of Dayton, Ohio who unfortunately, passed away. And I got his. I feel good. I'm very sensitive to light that's why I've got to wear the shades all the time and I have another pair I wear outside.
"It's swollen and sore right now. I've got about six to eight months worth of recovery before it's completely done and then a couple years down the road I'll have to work on the right but for now I feel allright."
What do you think the going rate on eye balls is today? I would say an arm and a leg, but that would just be counterproductive.
Whatever it is, let's just hope this guy from Dayton has a fine eye for coverage on kick returns.
Also:
Apparently Zach Frazer was being a bit hasty when he likened the new offense to Texas Tech's. Actually, it sounds like it's not even a spread.
New OC Joe Moorhead explains:
"You can pick a name," Moorhead said. "If I had to tag it, I'd say it's a multiple, no-huddle offense.
"Zach made the comment about Texas Tech or Missouri," Moorhead said. "My belief philosophically with offense is you've got to be balanced and be able to run and pass the ball with equal effectiveness. By balance, I don't mean play call. I mean production."
But there will be a heaping dose on four-wide sets, so we'll give Zach a pass on this. (I refuse to let go of my man-crush this soon.)
Further reading from Wednesday's availability:
Special Teams Coach Won't Push Panic Button {Courant}
UConn Offense Bound To Be Exciting {Courant: Jeff Jacobs}
Moore's offense might lead to excitement {Rivals}
Moorhead brings no-huddle spread to UConn {Conn. Post}
Change of Direction {JI}
Late add: This NFL First Draft podcast becomes very UConn-centric around the 20-minute mark.