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Most Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence: And so it begins...

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that will not end. Will you come inside?

It's been a while, huh? What was it, almost two weeks since we last talked? Yeah, sorry about that one. It's just that it was a little too easy to pass up. Right, right ... right. So, not that funny? Huh, probably should've seen that one coming.

And yes, I promise -- no more posts about poorly written campus newspapers. Unless they do something that's truly in poor taste. (Oh, the choices I had for that one).

So. ... What's new with, uh, you? ... Yeah, there have been a few things going on. Some good, I guess. But mostly, well, the same old stuff. Oh, oh, but Dan O. started again Saturday! Yeah, they still lost, I know.

But the women's basketball team is doing well? Yeah, I don't really care either.

OK, OK. But everyone makes bad decisions every once and a while. And I'm back now, and I'll be updating daily -- well, that's probably a lie; at least weekly -- for the next few months. We have a lot of ground to cover. Plus, Stanley Robinson is back! And if nothing else, Robinson is wildly inconsistent, easy to critique and usually the center of a good story. Like the time when he had his shirt inside-out during post-game interviews. Still trying to figure out if that one was intentional.

And to make it up, how about I introduce a new segment? We'll even do it every late Sunday/early Monday. ... Yes, I am that lazy.

So if there's one problem with UConn sports, it's that the football team is outrageously overrated after backing into a Big East title, er, that we have very little tradition.

So not only to pay homage to our forefathers, but to also draw upon one of the posts from TheUConnBlog's infancy, I bring you this: The award for Most Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. This will be a weekly award, given out to the most excellent person in the realm of UConn or Big East athletics, or occasionally someone with nothing to do with sports at all.

And for our first award, we have quite a deserving winner after the jump. Hint: his name rhymes with asshole.

'Cause you had a bad day ...

Sorry. Same thing.

Yes, this week's inaugural winner of the Most Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence award is none other than Gerry McNamara with a chin strap and goofy tattoos, otherwise known as Eric Devendorf.

Now, as you may remember, we here at TheUConnBlog engaged in a bit of a blog war with the good people at Hoya Suxa. Well, I guess it was more like one of those glove-slapping tiffs those guys from the Three Musketeers used to have. Nevertheless, peace offerings were made and accepted, and there's a seize fire until Feb. 11 of next year.

Being a man of someone else's word, I shall keep with the peace treaty, forgoing my desires to annex Poland. And while I'm at it, I'd like to congratulate the nation of the color orange on hiring the only person to keep this mythical creature clothed. I look forward to the future firing of Doug Marrone and the rebirth of the southern Hulk so we can all have more of this, and heaps of this.

But back to the reason we're all here, the MOPFEy.

Many Syracuse fans cried tears of blood when McNamara graduated after 10 years at Syracuse and went onto bigger and better things in the NBA NBDL Lativia. Yet, their demon howls lasted only a few months, for that's all it took for young Devendorf to usurp the thrown of goofiest player in the country.

He even came complete with similar paint-on thug accessories, developed while growing up on the mean streets of Bay City, Mich., known for its hard-knock fireworks festivals. It has even been said that a former Bay City resident was the inspiration for the original gansta, Paul Bunyan.

McNamara 2.0 even came with his own ultra-cool, ultra-original tats to differ himself from his predecessor.

In case you weren't aware, Eric Devendorf likes basketball.

I still vividly remember the day when I ran into young Eric at the Angry Banana Tattoo Co. in Syracuse the day he got it.

Devendorf: Hey, dawg. I was wondering if you could help me out?

Me: Did you just call me a dog?

D: Chill, bro. I was just peepin' your mad sick tat mag you got there.

Me: Is that a chin strap?

D: Yeahhhhhhh, son! Shit's tight, ya heard? Anyway, yo, you think you can help me pick out a sick tat, my dawg?

Me: ... yes?

D: All right, I don't know exactly what to get, but I feel like I should get one. You know, 'cause they're cool.

Me: Always a good reason. OK, so what type of stuff are you interested in?

D: Well--

Me: (Interrupts) I mean besides being thugged out, and things.

D: Oh. ... Well. .... Ummmmm, I like basketball?

Me: OK, that makes sense ... because you are on a basketball team and everything. Anything else?

D: I like ... DOGS! No, wait. That's cats. I have a cat named Mittens. ... Ummmm, I like religion!

Me: OK, I think I can work with that. OK, basketball, religion and cats. Basketball, religion and cats. Hmmmmm. (Looks at Devendorf's cut-off under armour t-shirt, then eyes dart quickly at his neatly trimmed chin strap). I think I've got it!

D: Yooooo! Let me hear that ish!

Me: OK, how about a really trite cross, on your bicep?


Me: Wait, wait. Not finished.

D: Yo?

Me: How about a cross, with a really, really fake-looking basketball in the middle!

D: Bro ... you're, like, a genius. You're, like, almost as smart as my boy Johnny Flynn. Dude's a genius.

Me: Right. And if you wanna top it off, I say the next one you get is of that And 1 guy. Oh, or your name written across your back, jersey-style.

D: ... I think I love you (sheds tear).

And I've hated him ever since. But we'll still have the memories.

Devendorf would then go on to become severely over-hyped after scoring nearly 15 points per game as a sophomore, mostly through intimidating opponents with his mighty chin strap.

Until this happened:

Although he tried to fend off foes from the bench area, his powers no longer had the same effects. Forced to wear suits and long sleeves, he could no longer terrorize more-talented players with his dope tats.

Long sleeves restricted the power Devendorfs thug persona had on people that could actually play basketball.

Long sleeves restricted the power Devendorf's thug persona had on people that could actually play the game of basketball.

But like the mighty phoenix, Devendorf arose from the ashes of a torn ACL to again use his evil powers to get to the basket.

However, what makes Devendorf truly outstanding in the field of excellence, and what drives him to keep adding to his goofy, goofy avatar, is the desire to be great. Because for young Eric, using his evil powers to score 14 ppg and pretend to beat up on elite male athletes was not enough.

This lust for more drove him to go after another gender, allegedly.

From the police report, courtesy News Channel 9 WSYR:

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Upon my arrival I spoke with (redacted) who stated [...] that while she was stopped there, several people began yelling and kicking her car with their feet. (Redacted) then advised that she exited her vehicle and asked these people why they were kicking her vehicle. According to (redacted), it was at that point the Eric Devendorf approached her with a closed fist and struck her in the face with it. While striking her he was stating, "You're a slut bitch, you belong on your knees. Get back in your car bitch."

Although it doesn't seem like Devendorf will be charged for the incident by police (I could be wrong, though), the Syracuse University judicial board recommended he should be suspended for the alleged assault. Big D is appealing, obviously.

The board looked into 20-year-old SU student Kim Smith's claim that Devendorf hit her in the face early in the morning on November 1, and decided that Devendorf had violated the school's code of student conduct.

The law firm of Attorney Rich Kesnig, representing Smith, says the ruling calls for a minimum suspension of one academic term, meaning he will miss at least the spring semester.

SU head coach Jim Boeheim told ESPN Wednesday night that Devendorf's status with the team will remain unchanged throughout the appeals process, which means he's expected to play Saturday when SU hosts Long Beach State at noon.

And just in case that wasn't enough, apparently he couldn't even feign (alleged) remorse afterward. Here's this dandy from the Syracuse Post-Standard story:

Devendorf and Smith testified Thursday before the five-member judicial board. Its decision states that it found Smith's testimony to be credible and sincere.

"Conversely, the Board felt that (Devendorf's) testimony and that of his witnesses was scripted and biased," the decision stated.

Well done (allegedly), my friend. Well done (allegedly).

Hey, I didnt know the Warriors moved to Latvia.

Hey, I didn't know the Warriors moved to Latvia.

Wait, there's more you say? Again from the good folks at WSYR:

Kim Smith’s lawyer, Rich Kesnig, claims the following text messages were sent from a teammate of Eric Devendorf's to Smith.

1) yo kim thanks for taking the time 2 talk 2 me...i appreciate it...and i hope u can find it in ur heart to forgive my teammates thanks

2) 315[XXXXXXX]...this is coach boheim number if you or ur family wants 2 call...and thanks for listening

3) hey kim its me again...i just letting u know that i just got out of practice and eric was pretty animate at wanting 2 apologize 2 u and ur family himself but i

4) didnt know if u wanted 2 hear from him so im asking u now if that’s ok?

Well, that proves it then -- definitely innocent. He was animate, for God's sake. Animate!

I'm actually shocked that she didn't just drop everything after reading that convincing first one. "Hey, Kim. Sorry for punching you. We'll give you five minutes to talk with coach ... uh ... Boehm? -- shit, why can't he have an easily spelled name -- and call it a day. OK, thanks."

And I'm not a lawyer or anything, but isn't the fact that he's willing to apologize an admission of guilt?

Regardless, this is quite the situation Easy E has gotten himself into. And as The Dagger points out, why is the university having a hearing over this yet the cops aren't dealing with the matter further?

Well, as you can expect, the other, fewer-championship-winning Jim is a bit perturbed over the matter:

Whoops, wrong chin strap. Here you go.

Another air-tight argument there, folks: Because the prosecution allegedly released some mythical documents that Jim Boeheim said they weren't supposed to, there were, in fact, three witnesses -- most likely other basketball players or friends of Devendorf -- that say Devendorf is innocent. Lock tight, my friends. So in case you're keeping track at home: wrongfully released documents = three witness, which = innocence.

I don't know even how this is still being debated with logic like that.

But I do know something like this would never happen in Storrs. Never.

But let's not get off topic. Or mention that Boeheim only has a mere one national championship to his name. Ohhhh, those were the days. I remember when UConn won its first championship ... and then another, five years later. And probably another this year. Ahhhh, the good ole days. Oh, yeah, then there were these, too.

But back to the matter at hand: the MOPFEy.

Let's raise our glasses filled with cognac and vodka, the drink of champions, to Eric Devendorf, the winner of the very first Most Outstading Achievement in the Field of Excellence award.

Congrats, Eric. You're one hell of a guy.

Ahhhhh. Serenity.

Ahhhhh. Serenity.