Gather 'round, kids.
Hi, I'm Rutgers quarterback Mike Teel.
I am the 93rd most efficient quarterback in America, and I'm here today with a message.
Sometimes, things don't go your way. Sometimes, you'll throw the ball 15 yards over the head of your receiver. Sometimes, you'll throw the ball 15 yards over the head of your receiver and into the hands of the safety playing deep contain. Sometimes, you'll do this just about every game for four straight years without convincing the pundits that maybe, you're just not that good. And sometimes you'll have a great running back who can mask all your flaws.
But if you're like me, you get angry a lot. And to be a life champion like I am, you have to control that temper.
See that? That's me, losing my temper. I regret it, for sure. But I suffered the consequences. I talked to my coach after the game, and he was very stern. He told me that I would lose my starting spot, and that I would no longer be a team captain. He told me that I had lost the respect of my teammates.
Wait a minute. That's not what happened at all.
I need to speak to you for a moment, son.
I'm still starting! It don't matter how many picks I throw, how many teammates I smack. Schiano knows [points to self] this guy is irreplaceable.
You hear me? Irreplaceable.
I. Am. Bullet. Proof.
I'm Mike Teel, and the ladies on College Ave. better get to know it before it's gone.
This message has been sponsored by the online game sensation "Smack The Penguin." It has penguins!