Charlie V. loses Twitter battle, pride of his hood

Mr. V., Mr. V.

The Great Twitter War of the past two days or so is finally over. Let the procreation begin!

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Toronto Raptors center Chris Bosh and UConn’s favorite hairless Twitter fiend engaged in a race to see who can hit 50,000 "followers" – of the Twitter variety, not of the sociopath variety -- the fastest.

The former teammates spent the past few days sending out hordes of messages, imploring people to follow them. In the final hours, they even began to try to rally their celebrity friends for help. Both appealed to motivational speaker Tony Robbins and Adventure Girl, while Villanueva upped the ante by promising to give some Crocs to kids. (Isn’t that a form of child abuse?)

But in the end, the four-time All-Star and gold medalist shockingly beat out a player who just signed for the midlevel exception and has recently become relevant through his Twitter antics, even with about a 4,000-follower deficit to begin the contest.

Now, we wait to see what Bosh has in store for Villanueva.

Had the Godfather of Tweets won, he planned on making Bosh do the "Shane Mercado." Bosh, though, has yet to say what he will do with his victory.

Will he respond with a goofy dance of his own? Split Charlie's new home in Detroit into four territories and force him to admit the battle was all his fault (in 140 characters or fewer, of course).

Here’s my suggestion to Bosh: Make him wear a toupee. The entire season.

Problem solved.