Eric Devendorf orders a coffee at a New York Starbucks

Two types of Devo.

Two types of Devo.

Cashier girl: Hello, sir. What can I get you today?

Eric Devendorf: Yo, yo, lemme hit up some uh dat strawberry and cream frappucino, ya heard?

CG: OK. What size would you like?

ED: Girl, y'all know what size I want. The size of DEEZ NUTS, am I right?

CG: That's disgusting.

ED: You know you like that, girl. Gimme a large. Yo, A-Raut, order yo damn coffee, son!

rautins

Andy Rautins (pushing frame of thick-rimmed glasses): Hello, miss. I would rather enjoy a, uh, a Tazo iced tea. Yes indeed, that would be splendid!

CG: OK, sir. Would you like a large or a small?

ED (interrupting): Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a got-damn minute.

Did y'all just insult my boy? Tell me y'all just did not insult my boy.

A-Raut ain't drink anything but the finest and largest weak iced teas on this earf.

AR: Please, Eric. Calm down. It's OK. This young lass was just asking if I wanted a particular sized iced tea.

ED: No! You listen to me, A-Raut. Y'all cain't let people like Brandon Walters, Eugene Harvey or this little coffee girl step to you like that.

CG: Excuse me?

ED: YOU HEARD ME! YOU INSULTED MY BOY. THIS IS MY HOME COFFEE SHOP!

I guess you just made a mistake, yo.

I think it's about time we step outside, girl. Y'all can't talk to my boy like that. I dun like people steppin' to my friends.

(The cashier girl and Devendorf step outside, where they argue further. It comes to blows.)

(The next morning...)

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